Alachua Post

Your online news source for Alachua Florida.

Home Countrys

February 28th, 2016

When you have a teenage relative, and the minimum age is 21 to go to a rock concert, and this relative HAS to go to the concert or die. Seriously. Die. Because life isn’t worth living if she misses it. And, if someone under 21 can go to the concert only if an adult accompanies them. AND … if the only adult who will listen to the begging and the crying and the gnashing of teeth happens to be a semi-old cowboy, well … say hello to Starving Chickens.

I figured, with a name like Starving Chickens, this band probably wouldn’t have the strength to do more than a few numbers before breaking for burgers and fries.

Well, that was just about as wrong a job of figuring as was the rest of my figuring. You see, I also figured the music wouldn’t really hurt your ears, because they would want it to be a pleasant experience. I also figured that with three electric guitars on the stage at one time, at least one guitar player would hit the right chords. Furthermore, I figured there would be some friendly banter between the group’s leader and the audience. You know, hi, how are you, having fun tonight? Now here’s one of our most-requested tunes, things like that.

The older I get, the wronger I get.

Oh, the head screamer of Starving Chickens (I call him Tattoo Boy) came out to say something to all the impressionable minds waiting for his droplets of wisdom, friendship, and gratitude for coughing up admission. He looked around and then told them to do something anatomically impossible.

This brought down the house.

Impressionable Teen looked up at me with the stars of the universe in her eyes and yelled, “Oh wow! Did you hear what he SAID? And he looked right at ME when he said it!”

Then it was two hours of throbbing before we got better. When it was over we asked each other in sign language if we had fun. One thumbs up, one thumbs down.

Sometimes you have to work to stay current with what’s good in life.

Home Country

February 28th, 2016

Mickey Baker has owned The Strand – our local movie theater – since the new releases starred Virginia Mayo. The Strand, naturally, is an icon here. More than a few of our long-lasting marriages in the area began with a first date there. Most of us have consumed more than our share of Raisinettes and Jujubes while watching Duke Wayne whip the bad guys. We know every inch of The Strand. We know where the rips are in the used-to-be blood-red carpet, which seats don’t fold all the way down, which seats are most secluded in case it’s a smooching date. It was ol’ Dud, back when he was about four feet tall, who discovered how to combine chewing gum and the lock on the back door to provide five-finger discounts for friends wanting to watch Victor Mature run around in a loincloth. The Strand, in other words, is a vital part of our past, if not of our lives today.

We seem to just go rent those tapes and disks now and stay home and watch the newer films when we feel like it, and that might be because we now appreciate being able to stop the action for an occasional bathroom break now and then.

Attendance dropped dramatically when home entertainment really hit a lick. But Mickey fought back. He tried the free popcorn route for a while. All he charged for was the butter. Attendance didn’t really pick up, and the popcorn bill was … well, appreciable if not staggering.

Mickey now thinks he has the answer. He bought a disk player thingie that works on a big screen. Then he bought some old movies and lowered the price.

The first night he did this was a triple header, and we all turned out to see our old heroes vanquish Nazis, solve the bank robbery in Cactus Gulch, and find out who really killed the big-city mayor. We paid too much for popcorn, but who cares?

The Strand lives on, even if there is more gray hair there than at a Percheron horse show. Besides, when was the last time you saw The Duke standing 15-feet tall?

Call For Action-Citizens of Alachua

February 28th, 2016

The unprecedented disqualification of all three non-incumbent candidates for Alachua city commission, and the arbitrary cancellation of our scheduled election on April 10 are cause for deep concern for many. I hope members of the community will address these concerns at the next meeting of the Alachua City Commission on Monday, March 5th at the Alachua Elementary School. Also, please feel free to print out and copy the attached Petition, and help get Alachua citizens.  In all cases I was treated professionally with respect and given all necessary guidance and assistance in filing forms or obtaining information.  Each form I filed was checked by the Supervisor of Elections or her staff before being time stamped and a copy returned to me for my records.  Every citizen is entitled to this level of service; it is the essence of a functional democracy.